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 Mr. Hassle’s nuts

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Posts : 40
Join date : 2009-02-25
Age : 32

Mr. Hassle’s nuts Empty
PostSubject: Mr. Hassle’s nuts   Mr. Hassle’s nuts Empty3/12/2009, 4:10 pm

this is based on a true story from my life.

I sit down in my office and power on all my equipment for the day. I just sit and listen to the relaxing tunes I picked for my morning. I finally begin to go about my work when I realize, “hey, I don’t want to work right now, I just got here”. So my first thought is hot chocolate. I grab the mug from my office and head around to the break room. I run the mug under some hot water to get rid of yesterday’s chocolate stain. It is at this point I remember I had made the last of the hot coco yesterday. Shit. I bow my head to face defeat but alas I will not cave this easily. I step up to peruse the coffee selection, I’m feeling bold today, a spark has fired off and I’m glowing with ambition. Espresso. Perhaps. The house blend is always a safe bet, but wait. What’s this? I have seen you before but I have never dared removed you from your home. Hassle nut. I have wondered what sweet sensations such a flavor could arouse from my pallet. Dare I. I do.
Excited to embark upon this long thought of adventure I take out the nut of the hassle. Setting my mug in place I notice the water is low. This will not be an average coffee day, oh no. I must work for this, this flavor is not something one could just plop in their lap and carry about this business, no. This is something one must earn. I turn to the jug of water left out to fill the coffee pot. I don’t give it a second’s thought before I fill my mug with water. I know that my boss is crazy and leaves this jug of water out so all the chlorine will evaporate out of the water. It is understandable that he would want a clean cup of Joe every morning. It’s also understandable that he is in fact a moron and the water is just collecting all the conversations, spits, and sneezes the break room takes in every day. I'll fill from the tap. Three mugs of water are all it takes. I am so close I can already taste the open fields, the forgotten dreams, and the lost smiles of yesterdays today. My mugs in place, the holy grail of coffee beans is at the ready. I lock and load. The water heats up. Its ready, I’m ready, the whole world stops and waits. I press go and the brewing of the gods commences. Nothing could ruin this moment. I am nearing the peak of mount Olympus. But wait.
Storm clouds brew overhead. A voice closes in that would make anyone wish for def ears. She enters the room. The lights dim, the air turns fowl, and the warmth that once was surrounding my aura has turned a cold deep blue. A line has now formed and it nags and moans and makes all that is bright, dark and dreary. Could this be the end? How long will my torture be before they end my life? What’s this? A light at the end of the tunnel, my knight in shinning armor. My coffee is brewed. I reach for the sugar and cream. I hear and see nothing but the heaven I have just created, now all that matters in my life is escaping this hell with my tinny mug of joy. I mix, I pour, I stir, and I sweat. My heart is racing. Can I complete my task before the beasts suck ever once of will I have left to live.
I’m free. I dart down the hall. My coffee lights the path. Glowing brighter then the sun it self. Entering my office I park my victory gently at my desk. My anticipation is peeking and I am on the verge of flight. Time slows down as the mug comes closer to my lips. The aroma is over whelming. I am about to experience the most spiritual moment of my life. From this point on I will never know hate, or fear, or anger. I will be at peace with my self and with all life. The warmth enters my mouth filling my taste buds with information. This flavor, this long awaited long desired mystery has been discovered. It’s crap.
What is this cruel twist of fate? Sweet brutal irony, why have you poisoned me? Have the gods nothing better to do with immortality then crush my spirit, my very will to live. I set the coffee aside and glared at its disappointment, its failure to fulfill its purpose. I blame it for everything that is wrong with everything.
I drink it; the bottom was good because a lot of the sugar settled there. I will fill my mug again, but only with hot coco. BUT I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU HASSLE NUT, AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!

If you enjoyed this short story and would like to read more, then please feel free to read other things and pretend I wrote them.
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