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 The Embarrassment of Public Bathrooms

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Chris
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Join date : 2009-02-25
Age : 34

PostSubject: The Embarrassment of Public Bathrooms   4/20/2009, 2:21 pm

I used to be a little pee-shy back in the days of grade and high school - i can comfortably admit that...i think. Anyways, I eventually got over that and now i can pee and poop in just about any environment but there is still one place that really bugs me out - Handicapped Stalls - and it's not that i get pee shy per say but just really paranoid and embarrassed. Allow me to explain...

At work we have 2 normal stalls, 1 handicapped and 2 urinals. Now generally when I come to drop the cosby's off at the pool or send some logs to the lumbermill (however you want to put it) i always go for the one closest to the urinals. Occasionally, I find my stall occupied. As is the middle. Now the final stall is the handicapped stall. I've noticed most people prefer this one as it's the largest. Please allow me to digress a moment - I too followed that creed until one day i heard a man come in, try my door, curse when it felt it was locked and then walk into the stall next to me to relieve himself. Well it just so happens that man had a cath, i could hear the bag and all the commotion that goes with it and i was incredibly embarrassed. Here i am, taking up the handicapped bathroom stall, forcing some poor man to do that task in a cramped shoebox. What a prick! Anyway, occasionally since that day I've been forced into the handicapped stall. Not only do i now feel discomfort for the fact that someone might actually need the handicapped stall while i'm in it but also the space is much too large for me now. I've gotten comfortable with the tightness of the other stalls and I feel like i don't know what to do with myself in all that space.

Clearly the worst situation is when all the stalls but that one are full, i'm forced to use it, and then just as i sit down the other 2 stalls clear out. I'm left sitting in there thinking. "Jesus, what if that handicapped man comes back and sees my shoes...he's got to know who i am! My shoes are distinct! Jesus Christ he's going to come in here, see the empty stalls and think i'm just some asshole who steals the handicapped stall! He's going to scream 'YOOOOOU!' and i'll be scarred for life! I'll never be able to shit in a public bathroom again!" As you may be able to imagine sometimes this train of thought causes my bowels to tighten and clench ruining my morning movement. Sometimes it just puts a quick end to my daily phone play-time ritual. And, not often, but sometimes I just shit in fear.

So next time you are being a selfish prick and thinking about using the Handicapped bathroom stall for no reason, think of the man with the Cath. Think about shitting in fear for the rest of your life.
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rahchoochal

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Join date : 2009-03-10
Age : 30
Location : Emmaus, PA

PostSubject: Re: The Embarrassment of Public Bathrooms   4/23/2009, 7:24 pm

oh christopher you are a true humanitarian.
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Chris
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PostSubject: Re: The Embarrassment of Public Bathrooms   4/24/2009, 10:35 am

thanks doll. i try.
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