Spring has finally decided to roll it's lazy ass out of bed. The sun is shinning and the thong bikinis are revealing, and kinda riding up, not to comfortable, I immediately regret my wardrobe choice for this morning. Hold for laughs.
Any way, the weather is finally shifting away from cold and miserable to hot as ass miserable. And I'm not complaining, In fact I fucking love it. Hell's to the yeah. But I'm not here to talk about how awesome the weather is, oh no. I'm here to talk about "fuck you heat" and other related anecdotes.
As the temperature increases to 'hot chicks in swim wear' all the smells that covered the bums and the trash of this fine city break free from their winter seal. And the odors that we all forgot about return (with a vengeance - rated R). We can now smell the urine soaked shelter challenged individuals from a block away. The garbage zones that sit in direct sight of the sunlight at its hottest moment burn your nostrils and test your gag reflex. Every other person to walk past is a deodorant-ophobic. A stink-oholic. Trash cans unleash an invisible shield of fuck off that pushes people away. And the boarder where Jersey meets Philadelphia is like driving over the crack of satins swampy ass during an uncomfortable mud butt situation.
Yes summer is on its way. The beautiful people are coming out of hiding and your nose becomes your worst enemy. Unless you don't live in the city, in which case I suggest moving here so you can suffer the eruption of nostril discomfort along with the rest of us.
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