The boy friend message

OK so my little cousin lives in the city so i get to hang with my uncle and some of the family a good amount. There baby sitter is my age and she is a really fun person. So we started talking to get together and hang out. New friends yay! so we hang out and have fun like a couple of human beings living life. We both know about each-others current relationship status and didn't hide any facts from one another. a normal human interaction. Two people conversing about life and enjoying one another's company. No one held any hands, no one had sex with any ones crotch, we didn’t discuss our wedding plans, normal people to people interaction. CSI will find no seamen samples to help the case.

so some time passes and I get a face book message from her boy friend whom I've never meet. It went a little something like this.

"I dont know what the fuck you think you are doing talking with my girlfriend but that shit ends now. The sweet text messages.. inviting her to your boys apartment. Your not slick. Find your own woman. And stop fucking with other peoples shit."

before I go to my response lets take a look at these super sweet candy txt messages.
she asked me were a good print shop was for digital prints... I did what any 'not an asshole' would do and (cue dramatic music "bum bum bum") told her where one was. AHHHHH!!!!

she then proceeded to be what some people call polite and said "thanks and sorry for bothering you".....I know right, its a sex affair waiting to happen, but wait i respond with a. "I'm not bothered. Glad I could help" holy shit she's practically pregnant.

so I read this message he sent me and thought to myself....well this guy is a silly person. And so I responded with my very well thought out mature and whimsical dialogue return.

"You's got da wrong idea. I aint try'n to dip in no body's cool aid son. She's a friend of da families and was looking fo some dim regular funs in da city now boy. I aint got non dim hidden agendas or nottin, ya heard. wikka wikka for rizzle B. I gots me a lady and aint no playa playa ya'll. so cool yo nuts on the thought home slice, my cock and both his balls will remain concealed in the chamber or denim. raise some roofs and bones it. knux dude."

HAHA! That's awesome. I hope they breakup cuz she's super cute and a lot of fun...I would give her 3 high-fives and a thumbs up if it were a pageant.

ps - you spelled knucks wrong dude.

it's the slang spelling

that's ridiculous, watch out for them there knux yo-izzle dizzle homeslicer

He wrote back:

"Good looks on the understandin mentality. i wish u the best with your new lady friend. And im sure your a straight kid n all... just dont wanna hear about ur black ass anymore. Ya dig? be easy"

so then I wrote back...after a few dry martinis

"Well sir, if by "ya, dig" you mean for me to no longer be around if your female is present then I say silly silly person it's silly to say whom and who what's it can hangs with whom's. but if "ya dig" you mean understand that I'm not trying to mess with peoples situations. I am merely trying to find my way out of this god damn motel."

more to come .....hopefully